Monthly Archives: May 2017

Resilience – Why We Need It and How To Help Our Children Develop It

Resilience - What it is and How to Help our Children Develop it

Resilience is our ability to adapt successfully in the face of stress, adversity, and traumatic events. Having it (and building it) leads to good mental health, which allows us to meet our life goals, to live happy and meaningful lives, and to cope with whatever challenges life tosses our way. And I think it is especially important in these strange and dire times.

Developing this trait (or not) begins early in life. And it seems to be something that many children and young people in our society struggle with. Parents often share with me their concern about the stress in their children’s lives, the impact it has on them, and how to help them deal with it. Some tell me that their kids, even very young ones, are on medication for anxiety.

This stress is often caused by pressure from coercive schools that are not designed to nurture learning and that are too focused on early achievement. There are so many other stressors like bullying (by adults and other kids), world events, racial tensions, poverty, and death in the family that can be hard for children to cope with if they don’t have appropriate support. Childhood anxiety can be exacerbated by lack of outdoor exercise, environmental health issues (indoor and outdoor air pollution, toxic food, electromagnetic radiation exposure), doctors who are too quick to prescribe, and even well-meaning parents shielding their kids from life’s adversities.

I have learned from my own life experience as a child and an adult that our job is not to protect our kids from adversity, because we can’t. Our job is to provide them with the tools to overcome it, to benefit from it even. I’ve written many times about the importance of trusting and respecting children, as well as allowing them to take risks, to persevere, and to fail gracefully. Not only does that contribute to their learning, it helps them to develop resiliency.

Child development specialist Jacqueline King-Presant, M.Ed. has written a series of articles for Natural Child Magazine that present some specifics about how to support the development of children’s emotional intelligence and natural resilience. She writes: “A child who feels trusted in their independence, risk taking, and problem solving abilities is a child who has been empowered to manage life’s difficulties with resilience – an important mindset that is decreasing in children and young adults today.”

Here are links to the articles. I hope you will find them helpful.

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